A letter to my sister - Anne.

 In your life you inspired even in your death you still inspire me. You are the reason I started writing.

You are my sizla-I loved how you called us- and your mamushka. Your death really affects us. More than 4 years down the line but am still writing this piece in tears. It is still painful, a topic we never discuss.

I tried to heal by forgetting about you, that way I thought I would move on. But who can forget those small teeth you used to smile with. Your memory flashes back and I push them away for it’s painful to bear.

But what am I doing to me, is this how you heal coz it has not worked all these years. You know this is one part I question God but who am I to question Him. His ways are mysterious we don’t know His reason but you had to leave us early.

You know I have never thought of thanking God for you. You will always be a gem in our family. Growing up in the ghetto we were never taught how to express our emotion towards each other the best we were close to was be your brothers/ sisters keeper. This meant protection at whatever means, if you beat anyone of us we gang up against you, always know of our whereabouts, play together, come home together. This mushy mushy stuff we were not used to but the love was there.

This is why we could just by the sound of sizla we understood the love behind it and we could do anything. This was our soft spot.

So Sizla I celebrate you today and thank God for you. How you took care of your nephews, I tell my son he missed out on a love so pure. Your heart of gold, when you didn’t have any cash to help you went ahead and split our shopping and even mum’s when we asked, you reminded us what we had was enough and there was no way your friend will sleep hungry and there was enough for all. Your loyalty we understood and didn’t question. We knew that you would do this again and again.

I thank God for that smile, those small teeth that have refused to leave my head. I see you in your shorts, glammed up to go out. God you did love life, and you lived a day at a time.

Back up- you always reminded us not to worry you always had our back and this you did. You were ready to fight for us literally. Sizla, I miss you my small sister but what to do.

I refuse to fight back your memories. Instead I will cry and laugh and embrace it. I will try to touch peoples lives following in your footsteps. I will celebrate the little milestones along my way. I will express myself and my emotions.

I wish I could have showed you more of how I loved you, told you of how you meant a lot to me, but the ghetto in me not used to this thought you should know, it is unnatural to start saying I love you or hugging like small kids.

So I change my thoughts and actions, sometimes just sitting there is not enough, you need to be embraced and assured everything will be alright, a public display of love is not bad after all. There is nothing wrong with embracing your emotional side. So I teach my son and to my other children the basics of emotions, to say I love you, I miss you, thank you, am sorry, the little things that makes a difference and lightens a person. To be sad, to cry and talk about it.

These are the things that bring happiness, I teach my son to love and be loved and to express himself when in love. Love is everywhere.

My love for you has never died. I love you forever Sizla. Watch over us. I hope you could read this.

with love,
the WOMAN in me.

15 LESSONS TO MY CHILDREN ON MONEY- ALUX.COM

1. Understanding how money works.
How do people earn their money, what do they spend their money on, how to invest your money. How money flows.

2. Difference between Asset and Liabilities
From the purchases we make to be able to differentiate between the two. Also to realize that some necessities are liabilities and how to work your way through. Not to be limited that if they want to purchase a liability they have to invest in an asset which will pay for the liability.

3. They are not entitled to anything.
The world owes you nothing. Wake up and work for you. Everyday you work towards something more. Your success is only good as yesterday, so this is  continuous process. You are responsible  for your own happiness and achievement.

4. How to be sociable and connect with other people.
You have to be likeable to connect and network. Treat people well and learn to be a social person, the network you make will help you form good business relations with others or even your employees, or even a good report will help get a promotion. Having a Master Mind cycle is very useful, there is power in unity and numbers.

5. Stop expecting immediate results and avoid magical thinking.
Success is a process. Avoid get rich quickly schemes like lottery and pyramid schemes. Success is wooed and daily persistent efforts and achievements lead to greater growth. It is good to dream big but don't forget the journey is important. Don't expect to be famous in a day or even open a business and make millions immediately. Trust the process.

6. Create daily habits and on the long run give incredible advantage.
Work on yourself. Develop a healthy lifestyle, a morning routine. Self discipline earned here is great.

7. Money is a tool and is a good thing.
Money is just paper and coins which you exchange with to get what you want. Don't personalize it. Money is not evil.

8. Increase income instead of lowering expenses.
If things get tough look for other avenues to increase your income. Do note lower your expenses as this will lead to you not thinking of ways to better yourself plus this is not the solution.

9. Knowledge is more valuable than money in the long run.
Invest in yourself. learn a new skill, go back to school, read books, surround yourself with people you look up to. When you are valuable, people will pay whatever price you ask for for your services.

10. Don't work for money , let your money work for you.
Look for ways to earn passive income. Develop a system that will work even in your absence.

11. Solving problems is the quickest way to get rich.
People will pay you to solve their problems so if you can find solutions to the problems the society face then you will be rich.

12. Do not waste times on things that do not correlate to the real world.
When choosing a course to learn try choosing things that relate to our environment, some courses are obsolete.

13. How to use good debt instead of bad debt.
Debt is good but it depends on what you are using it on. Bad debt is when you take a loan to maintain a lifestyle or buy a liability. Good debt is using a loan to invest in ventures that will yield profit.

14. 80% of the results comes from the 20% of the effort.
Most of the work in the company is done by the 20%. Getting good grades is good but don't put all your effort on being the top student, you should be all rounded and learn a few skills on the way.

15. Having money doesn't make you a better person, it just solves some of the problems.
Money should not define you. Maintain humility and respect people, treat people well. The most wealthy people are the most humble beings.

We can learn others along the way but I found this useful. I hope you learn all this and much more traits that will help you be successful and live in harmony with others.

Love from mummy.

With Love,
the Woman in me.